KWPro.net

public interface KeithsPet
{
   public void abuse(String type) throws AbuseNotFoundException;
}

public class Alfred implements KeithsPet
{
   public static final int ALL = 1;
   public void abuse(String type) throws AbuseNotFoundException
   {
      KeithsAbuseFactory f = KeithsAbuseFactory.getInstance();
      Abuse abuse = f.createAbuse(type);
      abuse.mentalTorture(ALL);
   }
}


public static void main(String[] args)
{
  Alfred baku = new Alfred();
  try {
    baku,abuse("mental");
    baku.abuse("body size");
    baku.abuse("sleep deprivation");
  }
  catch (Exception e)
  {
    baku = null;
  }
  System.out.println("merry xmas")
}

....your sense of humor devolves into this....