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After my failed interview, I started thinking about new options for my future.  I've decided to make a commitment to return to the US, partly to help my mom out and partly to have some shelter while the economy explodes.

I've been through one major recession before back in the dot com explosion.  During that period, I was less experienced and a lot more fearful of my  livelihood.  Because of these issues, I allowed myself to be manipulated by companies into pushing me towards a bad career path, rather than remaining focused on my ultimate vision of working in a large web company.

This time around after going through numerous companies and being manipulated by various recruiters, I'm thinking of just blocking out the negative news and focusing on things that I want to accomplish.  I figured that while it's very possible that I can find work, most companies will end up trying to push me down, even though I feel that I have enough experience for the levels of positions that I'm aiming for.  I really don't want to make compromises on career positions and money so if I don't end up finding something in this vein, I'll simply NOT work.

Yes, I will hold off on taking up a "real" job.

Well, that's insane.

Actually, not really.

In these downturn times, people often say it's best to go back for education or even form your own startup.  It makes sense.  Many companies lay off in this period because of fears of capital (and naturally their executives' bonuses as well as shareholders' precious profits).  So going to work in this period is actually far worse because you'll be constantly fearing for your job.  Then employers can manipulate you with threats and there's nothing you can really do without hurting yourself and your career.

However, as the article linked above states, downturn economies have provided us with new companies because there's less competition.  Since the dot com burst, we saw Google, numerous social networks, blog sites and web 2.0 emerge.  Right now, with the high gas prices, green efforts manifested.

The thing is that people are looking for good news.  I firmly believe that recessions are not purely economically driven, but emotionally driven.  As I had discussed the other day, the current volatile stock market makes no sense at all.  The pricing scheme are so wild that it's anyone's guess what the true value is.  However, what is certain is that people are completely engaged in the emotional output.  With the internet, news is able to reach people faster so the market reacts far faster than any period in history.  In that mode of thinking, you're essentially creating mass schizophrenia because it's hard historically to match the environmental circumstances since there's no period to really compare.

Still, I want to reiterate that for the market to recover, you can't look alone to the bottom line.  The market is looking for positive news to believe in moving its money back in.  The way the stock market currently is designed allows for speculation to occur, which is the biggest problem since the concepts of true investing go out the window.  So I feel that people ignore fundamentals like the debt of a company as well as the earnings, etc.  You end up getting a flaky market at best since no one will be able to predict the future and you rely on news day-to-day to put your money into something.

That all said, for myself what this means is that I need to use this opportunity to re-think about what the current market situation is like and how to re-invent a portion of it.  That sounds a bit lofty but you gotta think big.  Google and the initial successful web 2.0 companies came about when no one was looking.  In Google's case, everyone knew it was a good search engine, but the culture and things like Google Maps are what changed the game entirely.  You have to do something so outrageous, so different, very niche, daring, demanding and unexpected that it changes the game.  You can't just upgrade some idea either; it's like adding more frosting to a very sweet cake.  You have to create the pill that tastes like that cake but provides all the nutrients for your body.

Also, you gotta make something people needs.  I feel that most businesses aren't about satisfying needs but just nickle and diming people to death.  In other words, most businesses are fraudulent.  If something is able to satisfy a need, people will be guaranteed to pay for it.

Anyway, that's the project/web/programming basis that I'm planning for myself.  I'm also considering finishing up some writing projects.  I had a few that I just never had time to complete since I  became overly busy in Tokyo. 

The main thing I wanted to do is concentrate on me.  I haven't done that in a while and I think that's why I have all this pent up frustration.  Working for people really doesn't seem to be my thing and I grow more frustrated by the day when I see incompetent decisions by management occur (does not necessarily imply my current job but just in general).