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I saw the recent South Park "China Probrem" where Indiana Jones gets "raped" by Steven Spielberg and George Lucas.  There's some scenes in there that are just so wrong and funny simultaneously (Lucas climaxing with a close up shot of his face, the stormtrooper running around screaming while pointing to his butt, the revamped version of Deliverance with the "hick" duo of Lucas and Spielberg).  The episode is supposed to be making fun of the fact that Spielberg and Lucas had once again took a childhood iconic figure (Indiana Jones) and distorted him and the story with something that little resembled anything from the original that created such a strong brand.  Or as the kids simply put it, they "raped" our childhood memories.

The irony of this episode for me is that I always hated (and feared) Raiders of the Lost Ark and most of the Indiana Jones series.  To be honest, I've been contemplating suing Spielberg and Lucas for permanently damaging my psyche, especially with the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark (and ANYONE who knows me understands what I mean by this).  So seeing this somewhat "safer" version of an Indiana Jones (I was on the plane and there wasn't anything else to watch), I actually felt somewhat healed of the damage done to my youth.

So yes, I am like Butters in this episode and I liked this Indiana Jones.

And to be even more blasphemous to all the zillions of Indiana Jones fans, I actually do want them to re-release all the Indiana Jones series with updated special effects, especially the ending of Raiders of the Lost Ark, to be more kid safe.

I wasn't one of those kids thinking that I was a bad ass for tolerating sitting through scenes of melting or exploding heads.  Instead, I was conned by my friends into thinking that Raiders was a bad ass movie.  Since the 1st grade, I had walked on this earth severely traumatized where I simply could not even go near a TV when that movie played.  I had nightmares for years (I mean literally going into my early adulthood life) of the ending.  My parents (most notably my mom) used to threaten me with taking this comic of the movie that I had bought and making putting glow-in-the-dark light up eyes for Belloq whenever I did something bad!  Do you know how evil that is?  And to be truly frank, I used to believe (and do to a degree these days) that if you did watch the ending of Raiders that you would melt and dissolve, kinda like that episode of South Park "Free Hat."

So I actually hope to see them update Raiders, etc. so that I personally can watch the movie one day (which is one of the things on my agenda before I die).  It'll put some closure on that chapter of my odd existence.

And as Butters would say:

B-B-B-Butters!  That's me!