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Probably, my mom knew me best when she described me as someone who would use shock treatment in terms of the way I talked to people.  "Psychobabble" she used to describe my diction.  It's hard to describe what goes through my mind when I talk like this.  It could be high blood pressure.  It could be excitement.  Usually, I think it's my utter desire for attention.

Strange, the way the world works.  I can be one of the shyest people around, not wanting anyone to be around me.  But when I've got the spotlight on me, I absolutely have to shine.  I demand attention.  I hate slinking into the background and seeming like a rusted nail, rather than an opulent diamond.  That's just me though.

The other theory about what I do or say is just my competitive nature.  There's a Dilbert character called "Topper."  He is the guy that attempts to outdo everyone verbally by bragging on some tall order that probably isn't feasible.  I wouldn't say that I'm that type of character, but at least verbally sparring with me is akin to playing chess against a super computer.  You have to stay eight steps ahead.  But in my case, I'm completely random and will hit you from a direction no one will expect.

Then there's my slight God-complex.  Okay, it isn't slight.  I have a massive ego.  I don't brag about it, but encountering it is like approaching a new massive planet for the first time.  You get trapped by the gravity and can't turn back when you approach and it's your fault for even approaching.  Where this massive ego comes from is an interesting source of debate.  I think a huge part of it has been influenced by pro-wrestling.  All those pretentious interviews to sell someone's character heavily influenced me.  The Ric Flairs, Bobby Heenans, Sid Vicious, Razor Ramon, HBK, Steve Austins, you name them.  Add Ayn Rand to that mix and you've got a recipe for something that can be described as a black hole.

Worse yet, getting older just has made me solidify my beliefs.  I don't think learning is harder as one gets older.  It's just stubbornness to get rid of older beliefs.  I notice myself clnging to things that I grew up with rather than embracing new things.  That doesn't mean I don't listen to people, but I tend to find younger people's verbage to hold less and less credibility with me.

I guess I'm becoming a danger to myself.  Gotta get married and settle down soon....